So a wise man once said if you are gonna go out with a big bang, well I feel like I am gonna explode soon if I dont get out of my house..... this whole house arrest thing bites my arse... I have issues with both guys now, one wants to start over by dating, the other wants to go bf/gf, well I am not one to rush into things, and so I am lost in which direction I should go, I mean I know who I want, but thats only cause there is more there, I dont have to start from scratch with him, theres this weird chemistry between us where it works, its just I don't want to get hurt again....at the same time I feel as though I am not giving the other guy a fair chance just cause I don't know him that well, but seeing as how that would be starting a new relationship, I feel like I just want to continue with the one I currently have and see how things go there, but I am afraid there are some things that I might miss out on with either decision, and so it leaves me in a rut, cause no matter the decision, once made I cant take it back and try and go the other direction, because the other person won't necesarily be there later on....

On top of it all there is a possiblilty that I have like tonsilitis or something, who knows I am thinking the worst possible case scenario so when it is a better outcome I will be relieved...... Well I must be off have to go to the doctors now, I get to see what is really wrong with me, other than that I am weird and crazy, this we already know.......lots of love to you all