oh yeah and i ended up getting burned..... :-( not fun oh well it wil heal soon

My Best Friends Wedding or Dude Where's My Car ( which hasnt been seen by us) ....um how about something we dont need to worry about watching.....hehehehe...... well it turns out we watched 22% of the movie, 5% of the possum, and the rest pure.....um how do u say.....magnificant!

Hrrmmm...pool party today, we could convince Ian to get in but I think there were underlying reasons that kept him back..... BUT a promise is a promise and therefore he has to get in the water no matter what,..... I am just as red and just as chubby if not more so if pavla can convince me to get in minus my "security blanket" aka boardshorts and actually wear a 2 piece in front of someone other than myself then he can get his booty in my pool.......hehehehe....u know u love me :-)

Well its bed time........ so i'll see you all in my pool again tomorrow...woohoo.....w00t

So last night I watched IQ, never seen it before and I thought it was a cute, funny movie. Let alone I had alot of fun watching it......and yes we watched the movie unlike some people who "play" a movie..... So yes moon chasing and frozen yogurt was a good night, i am looking forward to many more fun nights like that again......oh and mint skittles have a whole new light to them....as well as far as orange tic tacs go they have to be earned and not ate before making contact.....beanbags shouldnt hold more than one person and

Nelson is finally left woohoo....so i inally got to go back in the "new room" i dont know why we still call it that it was built by dad approx. 15 yrs ago....

i am glad i had fun last night, i havent had that much fun or experienced those things in such a long time... thank you

time to go look for a job....maybe ill find something... i doubt it

A kiss with so much energy
Can only come so often
The energy is passionate
Raging, so overwhelming
That you want more to happen
Then just the kiss!
But how do you ask for more?
Or provoke more to enrage?
An answer that is add mystery
Add time, don't rush it....
With time comes more passion
It will build up so much
In the end it will be overwhelming.
Can we keep this going?
Or will it fade away with the mystery?
I hope it only increase and becomes
So much more than either of us can think of......

-by me

so i havent posted in like a month and i am sorry for that... i have been meaning to write but everytime i am about to i start playing spider solitaire or i end up going to a random coffeeshop with pavla and ian to discuss or world of problems...... speaking of coffeeshops....limelight java's old red couch that is covered in blue fabric i think should be off limits to us folk that sit n it while waiting for pavla to get off work.... it causes nothing but yeah you know what it causes... ;-) anyhoo summer is progressing and i still lack a job and i still need to call catalina otherwise i might not end up going...omg thats a scary thought i havent missed going in 5 yrs...eeek

love is progressing yet sometimes i feel lonely since the distance is a distance.....i wish there was a shorter gap in space between the ones i care for, and i wish the surroundings they were in would allow for us to spend more time together....hopefully it will become a better situation, i just fear that in time school will drag him off to atlanta and i will be lonely again...i dont like being alone..its scary... i guess it goes along with all my fears and things i am always self-conscious about how i am, how i look, it all goes back to things in my past, and i am getting over them slowly with the help of my friends but i still feel like a thick stump amongst twigs........

so i will leave u with something i read:

After A While
After a while you learn the subtle difference between holding a hand and chaining a soul,
And you learn that love doesnt mean leaning and company doesnt mean security,
And you begin to learn that kisses aren't contracts and presents arent promises,
And you accept your defeats with your head up and your eyes open , with the grace of an adult and not the grief of a chid
And you learn to build all your roads on today because tomorrow's ground is to uncertain for plans.
After a whie you learn that even sunshine burns if you get too much.
So plant your own garden and decorate your own soul, instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers.
And you learn that you really can endure...
That you really are strong,
And that you really do have worth.

- Veronica A Shoffstall, 2nd Helping of Chicken Soup for the Soul